Recently I saw this Upworthy post about tampon ads. The tampon ad they show is pretty great - it's about a little girl who gets her period at a summer camp, and she's the only one with pads and tampons so she gives them out to every girl who gets her period. But then, the other girls start receiving products from Hello Flo, which is apparently a tampon delivery service.
But the part that made me think was the text that the poster wrote. Tampon and pad ads completely obscure periods. They show happy women going for a jog or a swim, and they drip blue liquid onto pads. It totally stigmatizes periods.
And then I started thinking. Just about every ad for women's "issues" completely ignores the real issue, avoids the topic, and therefore stigmatizes things that women experience.
Hair removal ads suck. The legs that they shave to demonstrate the product are already perfectly smooth. How are you supposed to know how well a razor or shaving cream works if they don't actually show it working? More importantly, why can't they show a woman with at least stubbly, if not hairy, legs on TV? What's so terrifying about that? It's not like it's a dirty thing that kids shouldn't know about. Obscuring meds for erectile dysfunction makes sense because people don't want kids asking questions. But leg hair is totally natural and not harmful or sexual.
As a young teen with no thoughts about sex outside of "I hope I'll never hear my parents doing it," I saw a commercial for the birth control patch. But of course I had no idea what it was. They never used the words "birth control" or "pregnant." All I remember about it is stuff like "don't worry about it falling off" and "it goes on your hip so it's very discrete!" I assumed it was a quit smoking patch that was for women. It was actually years before I learned about the birth control patch and connected the dots. That one is a little more understandable, because like ED meds, birth control is a topic that most parents don't want to discuss with young kids or preteens who are curious. But still. Why is there such a stigma around women's concerns?
The only commercials involving products for women that never dances around the issue is makeup and skincare. "YOUR SKIN SUCKS, DOESN'T IT? BUY OUR PRODUCT TO MAKE YOU BEAUTIFUL!" "HOLY CRAP YOU'RE GETTING WRINKLES? ABOMINATION! BUY OUR PRODUCT!" "LIPS TOO SMALL? BUY OUR LIPSTICK THAT MAKES YOUR LIPS SWELL UP." "HAIR GRAYING? BUY OUR PRODUCT!"
Moral of the story: society thinks anything natural is gross. Society wants women to feel ashamed for having leg hair and periods. But don't buy into it. Remember that periods, leg hair, wrinkles, gray hair, and various skin imperfections are natural. You don't have to like any of those things (I don't, except for my leg hair), but for your own sake, accept them as part of being human and consider not being as insecure about yourself as commercials and TV want you to be.
Thursday, April 24, 2014
Sunday, April 20, 2014
I'm coming out as a woman with hairy legs.
Like most girls in our society, I started shaving my legs around the time I started puberty. For me, it was sparked by a certain important person in my life, who is older than I, seeing me in shorts and saying, "Katie [because I was Katie then], you should start shaving your legs!" I recall a certain other important person in my life telling the former that I'd start shaving my legs when I was ready to, and that I didn't need anyone telling me when to start.
Since then, I have shaved my legs. All. the. time. Every other day during shorts season. In middle and high school, I'd even shave my legs every other day during the winter, because I had to change my pants in the locker room, and I didn't want anyone seeing me with hairy legs. In college, I felt the freedom to go about a week between shaves during the winter.
And I've never liked shaving. I don't exactly enjoy most of my hygienic routine, but it's definitely satisfying to wash my hair, brush my teeth, and wash my body. I feel better after doing so. But shaving my legs has never felt that way to me. Touching my freshly-shaved legs is nice, but it doesn't last long enough to really feel worth the effort. And I'm super pale. My hair is super dark. So even minutes after shaving, my legs still looked a little stubbly. Shaving over my knees gives them horrible razor burn, even once a week. About halfway through the summer, every year, my knees hurt just from gentle touches because the razor burn gets so bad. I usually develop ingrown hairs that form even more painful bumps on my knees in the summer, too.
But this summer, I'm not going to shave my legs.
I got really lazy this winter, and I was also really cold. I knew that if I shaved my week-old leg hairs, they'd be noticeably colder when I went outside, and I didn't want any of that. I also knew that the longer I waited to shave, the longer it would take to shave. And every time I thought about shaving my legs, I just felt such an overwhelming desire to get out of the shower. So I did.
And now, the more I stare at my hairy legs, the more I like them. I mean, it is a little weird. The hairs on my shins are a lot longer than the hairs on the backs of my calves. A trim would be nice.
When I first considered keeping my leg hair, I thought about the stigma behind it. Let's face it. Most women with hairy legs are looked at as either dirty hippies, dirty hipsters, lesbians, or transgender female-to-male. Even if they're not any of those things. It's stupid, but I was afraid that showing off my hairy legs would make people think that I was dirty. Even though I know that I'm not! I bathe regularly. Just because I don't shave my legs doesn't mean I don't wash them.
I tested how I felt in public by going to the grocery store in shorts. I haven't made any friends in my new state, and I work with only one person who lives 11 miles away, so I knew I wouldn't run into anyone I know. Driving there felt weird. With my windows down, I could feel my leg hairs billowing in the wind. I've gotten used to that walking around at home, but to feel it in the car was a new experience.
Walking around the store felt so unbelievably liberating. I looked at people's faces as I passed them, and most of them didn't even look down at my legs. Granted, at the grocery store people tend to be buried in their shopping lists and the shelves in front of them. But still, to walk around in public and not feel those dirty looks I expected was awesome.
I might shave my legs for special occasions, but I also might not. I've spent my entire post-puberty life making sure to shave my legs for special occasions that take place during dress/shorts season. I've only spent three months (or something) as someone who can't be bothered to shave her legs, and it's only been one month since I decided to be someone who doesn't even care to shave her legs again. Will the societal pressures in my family lead me to shave my legs before my nephew's upcoming first birthday celebration? Nah. If anyone in my family actually cares, I'll have some carefully chosen words for them. Will the societal pressures in the world lead me to shave my legs for a job interview if I wear a skirt to it? Maybe. Hopefully not. If the person interviewing me is going to judge me for having hairy legs, I don't want to work for them. Will I want smooth legs for my wedding? Right now, yes, I think I will. But I'm not even engaged right now. Maybe, hopefully, by the time I get married, I'll be so used to my leg hairs that I won't feel less princess-bride-like with them.
Since then, I have shaved my legs. All. the. time. Every other day during shorts season. In middle and high school, I'd even shave my legs every other day during the winter, because I had to change my pants in the locker room, and I didn't want anyone seeing me with hairy legs. In college, I felt the freedom to go about a week between shaves during the winter.
And I've never liked shaving. I don't exactly enjoy most of my hygienic routine, but it's definitely satisfying to wash my hair, brush my teeth, and wash my body. I feel better after doing so. But shaving my legs has never felt that way to me. Touching my freshly-shaved legs is nice, but it doesn't last long enough to really feel worth the effort. And I'm super pale. My hair is super dark. So even minutes after shaving, my legs still looked a little stubbly. Shaving over my knees gives them horrible razor burn, even once a week. About halfway through the summer, every year, my knees hurt just from gentle touches because the razor burn gets so bad. I usually develop ingrown hairs that form even more painful bumps on my knees in the summer, too.
But this summer, I'm not going to shave my legs.
I got really lazy this winter, and I was also really cold. I knew that if I shaved my week-old leg hairs, they'd be noticeably colder when I went outside, and I didn't want any of that. I also knew that the longer I waited to shave, the longer it would take to shave. And every time I thought about shaving my legs, I just felt such an overwhelming desire to get out of the shower. So I did.
And now, the more I stare at my hairy legs, the more I like them. I mean, it is a little weird. The hairs on my shins are a lot longer than the hairs on the backs of my calves. A trim would be nice.
When I first considered keeping my leg hair, I thought about the stigma behind it. Let's face it. Most women with hairy legs are looked at as either dirty hippies, dirty hipsters, lesbians, or transgender female-to-male. Even if they're not any of those things. It's stupid, but I was afraid that showing off my hairy legs would make people think that I was dirty. Even though I know that I'm not! I bathe regularly. Just because I don't shave my legs doesn't mean I don't wash them.
I tested how I felt in public by going to the grocery store in shorts. I haven't made any friends in my new state, and I work with only one person who lives 11 miles away, so I knew I wouldn't run into anyone I know. Driving there felt weird. With my windows down, I could feel my leg hairs billowing in the wind. I've gotten used to that walking around at home, but to feel it in the car was a new experience.
Walking around the store felt so unbelievably liberating. I looked at people's faces as I passed them, and most of them didn't even look down at my legs. Granted, at the grocery store people tend to be buried in their shopping lists and the shelves in front of them. But still, to walk around in public and not feel those dirty looks I expected was awesome.
I might shave my legs for special occasions, but I also might not. I've spent my entire post-puberty life making sure to shave my legs for special occasions that take place during dress/shorts season. I've only spent three months (or something) as someone who can't be bothered to shave her legs, and it's only been one month since I decided to be someone who doesn't even care to shave her legs again. Will the societal pressures in my family lead me to shave my legs before my nephew's upcoming first birthday celebration? Nah. If anyone in my family actually cares, I'll have some carefully chosen words for them. Will the societal pressures in the world lead me to shave my legs for a job interview if I wear a skirt to it? Maybe. Hopefully not. If the person interviewing me is going to judge me for having hairy legs, I don't want to work for them. Will I want smooth legs for my wedding? Right now, yes, I think I will. But I'm not even engaged right now. Maybe, hopefully, by the time I get married, I'll be so used to my leg hairs that I won't feel less princess-bride-like with them.
Friday, April 4, 2014
I want to love the HIMYM finale, but here's why I can't
I know that everybody and their brother has written about why they did or did not like the series finale of How I Met Your Mother. It's been talked to death, but now it's time for me to put in my two cents.
It goes without saying that this post has a buttload of spoilers, so if you haven't seen the finale and you've managed to not find out what happened, please don't read on.
So, Ted and Robin end up together. It's supposed to be gooey and romantic, and Voiceover Ted talks about how his whole life has been a long journey that led him to where he is now and he wouldn't change any of it. That's a really sweet sentiment and I generally like that kind of thing in a TV show.
But I HATE that Ted ends up with Robin.
This whole show - NINE YEARS - that's over two THIRDS of my life - Voiceover Ted has been telling his kids and the TV audience that his life was a journey that led him to The Mother. He starts the story with where he met Robin because he felt like that was where his Journey began. "Dad, it feels like you've been going on about this for a year! Why hasn't mom come in yet?" "Because, this is about the journey to her." And because the show had to last for more than one season. That's awesome.
But what's NOT awesome is to tell us for NINE. YEARS. that this whole story, the whole show, Ted's whole life, was leading him to The Mother and then, in the last 20 minutes of the show, turn it into a journey that led him to Robin. Fuck that. I'm sorry, but really. You're going to spend nine years giving us hints about The Mother, showing us her ankle, giving Ted her umbrella, having Ted date her roommate, having her show up in a class that he thought he was supposed to teach, only to have him end up with the woman who, for the last seven years, has proven to be not only not The Mother, but not even a good match for Ted? Make it seem like The Mother was just a pit stop on Ted's way to Robin?
And there's another thing. We just spent the last nine months, the whole last season, at Barney and Robin's wedding. And in the first 20 minutes of the finale, you tell us that they got a divorce. Thanks for punching us in the face right before you punch us in the gut. Yeah, it's cool that Barney says "It's not a failed marriage, it's an awesome marriage that ended." In fact I really liked that. But COME ON. A whole season at a wedding just to have the marriage end 20 minutes later (three years in the timeline of the show).
And then, there's the reason for their divorce. Robin was traveling too much. She wasn't ready to settle down anywhere. That's part of why she drifted out of the gang's life. So we're just supposed to assume that, at the very end of the show, she's magically decided to settle down and that's why she and Ted are finally right for each other? Bull shit. I mean, sure, she has an apartment and five dogs again, so maybe she really has settled down. But there are some things that you need to TELL the viewer. Have Robin say somewhere before Ted goes over there with the blue French Horn, "All that traveling was getting to me so I finally decided to take a job that will keep me in New York." Just to make it more clear that Robin and Ted are finally at the right place at the right time.
It just feels like the writers didn't even care about the viewers in the last episode. Apparently, a lot of the story was inspired by the writers' actual lives, so that's cool. But some of us don't WANT a more realistic ending. Some of us don't CARE that maybe something similar to this happened to an actual person. Some of us just spent nine years wondering who The Mother was and we didn't WANT her to be dead (although that has been a theory since about halfway through season one). And lots of us - me included - did NOT want Ted and Robin to end up together simply because they knew that they were not right for each other by the end of season two.
There were a lot of awesome moments, though. Lots of things I did like about the finale.
Ted's goodbye to Lily made me cry. It was so silly and Alyson Hannigan looked so sad - I imagined that maybe that was the last scene they filmed with Alyson, so maybe those tears were real because this was the last time the cast and crew would be together. (I like to imagine this kind of thing because I want to work in sitcom.)
The Captain Ahab/White Whale costumes. Oh my god, amazing. But why the HELL was Ted wearing the Hanging Chad costume?! He wore that to try to find the Slutty Pumpkin. He found her. He didn't like her. He should have done an awesome couples costume with The Mother, but no, he was in a costume that he wore in order to search for some other woman. dafuq.
Barney seeing his daughter for the first time. Oh god, all the feels. I pictured NPH seeing his babies for the first time, and imagined that he was channeling that feeling. Tears.
Ted finally talking to The Mother for the first time. Super adorable. I actually expected them to kiss because there had already been so many scenes of them together.
Ted bringing Robin the blue French horn was really sweet. As much as I hate that they're together, I do like that he brought her the horn again. It's like they're starting over, rather than picking up where they left off. Which is good, because they technically left off with Robin being a terrible friend and abandoning everybody, even for all of their Big Moments.
The clips of everybody from way back in season one made me start to cry so hard that I actually had to get up and walk away, thinking "I can't handle this." Partly because I'm ridiculously emotional. Partly because I was watching it with Derek (my boyfriend), and he always teases me for crying at shows and that just makes me feel silly for crying which, of course, makes me cry harder. But mostly, because it brought me back to season one. Back to 13 year old me, in the ninth grade, excitedly watching this new show with Willow from Buffy. It made me feel like a kid again, and that hit me with so many emotions that I'm getting choked up just writing about it.
So, if you want to know my opinion overall, whether or not I liked the finale for How I Met Your Mother.... I'm generally okay with it. It was a good episode, a solid ending to the show... it just didn't end the way I wanted it to.
In any case, it was 500 times better than the ending to Dexter.
It goes without saying that this post has a buttload of spoilers, so if you haven't seen the finale and you've managed to not find out what happened, please don't read on.
So, Ted and Robin end up together. It's supposed to be gooey and romantic, and Voiceover Ted talks about how his whole life has been a long journey that led him to where he is now and he wouldn't change any of it. That's a really sweet sentiment and I generally like that kind of thing in a TV show.
But I HATE that Ted ends up with Robin.
This whole show - NINE YEARS - that's over two THIRDS of my life - Voiceover Ted has been telling his kids and the TV audience that his life was a journey that led him to The Mother. He starts the story with where he met Robin because he felt like that was where his Journey began. "Dad, it feels like you've been going on about this for a year! Why hasn't mom come in yet?" "Because, this is about the journey to her." And because the show had to last for more than one season. That's awesome.
But what's NOT awesome is to tell us for NINE. YEARS. that this whole story, the whole show, Ted's whole life, was leading him to The Mother and then, in the last 20 minutes of the show, turn it into a journey that led him to Robin. Fuck that. I'm sorry, but really. You're going to spend nine years giving us hints about The Mother, showing us her ankle, giving Ted her umbrella, having Ted date her roommate, having her show up in a class that he thought he was supposed to teach, only to have him end up with the woman who, for the last seven years, has proven to be not only not The Mother, but not even a good match for Ted? Make it seem like The Mother was just a pit stop on Ted's way to Robin?
And there's another thing. We just spent the last nine months, the whole last season, at Barney and Robin's wedding. And in the first 20 minutes of the finale, you tell us that they got a divorce. Thanks for punching us in the face right before you punch us in the gut. Yeah, it's cool that Barney says "It's not a failed marriage, it's an awesome marriage that ended." In fact I really liked that. But COME ON. A whole season at a wedding just to have the marriage end 20 minutes later (three years in the timeline of the show).
And then, there's the reason for their divorce. Robin was traveling too much. She wasn't ready to settle down anywhere. That's part of why she drifted out of the gang's life. So we're just supposed to assume that, at the very end of the show, she's magically decided to settle down and that's why she and Ted are finally right for each other? Bull shit. I mean, sure, she has an apartment and five dogs again, so maybe she really has settled down. But there are some things that you need to TELL the viewer. Have Robin say somewhere before Ted goes over there with the blue French Horn, "All that traveling was getting to me so I finally decided to take a job that will keep me in New York." Just to make it more clear that Robin and Ted are finally at the right place at the right time.
It just feels like the writers didn't even care about the viewers in the last episode. Apparently, a lot of the story was inspired by the writers' actual lives, so that's cool. But some of us don't WANT a more realistic ending. Some of us don't CARE that maybe something similar to this happened to an actual person. Some of us just spent nine years wondering who The Mother was and we didn't WANT her to be dead (although that has been a theory since about halfway through season one). And lots of us - me included - did NOT want Ted and Robin to end up together simply because they knew that they were not right for each other by the end of season two.
There were a lot of awesome moments, though. Lots of things I did like about the finale.
Ted's goodbye to Lily made me cry. It was so silly and Alyson Hannigan looked so sad - I imagined that maybe that was the last scene they filmed with Alyson, so maybe those tears were real because this was the last time the cast and crew would be together. (I like to imagine this kind of thing because I want to work in sitcom.)
The Captain Ahab/White Whale costumes. Oh my god, amazing. But why the HELL was Ted wearing the Hanging Chad costume?! He wore that to try to find the Slutty Pumpkin. He found her. He didn't like her. He should have done an awesome couples costume with The Mother, but no, he was in a costume that he wore in order to search for some other woman. dafuq.
Barney seeing his daughter for the first time. Oh god, all the feels. I pictured NPH seeing his babies for the first time, and imagined that he was channeling that feeling. Tears.
Ted finally talking to The Mother for the first time. Super adorable. I actually expected them to kiss because there had already been so many scenes of them together.
Ted bringing Robin the blue French horn was really sweet. As much as I hate that they're together, I do like that he brought her the horn again. It's like they're starting over, rather than picking up where they left off. Which is good, because they technically left off with Robin being a terrible friend and abandoning everybody, even for all of their Big Moments.
The clips of everybody from way back in season one made me start to cry so hard that I actually had to get up and walk away, thinking "I can't handle this." Partly because I'm ridiculously emotional. Partly because I was watching it with Derek (my boyfriend), and he always teases me for crying at shows and that just makes me feel silly for crying which, of course, makes me cry harder. But mostly, because it brought me back to season one. Back to 13 year old me, in the ninth grade, excitedly watching this new show with Willow from Buffy. It made me feel like a kid again, and that hit me with so many emotions that I'm getting choked up just writing about it.
So, if you want to know my opinion overall, whether or not I liked the finale for How I Met Your Mother.... I'm generally okay with it. It was a good episode, a solid ending to the show... it just didn't end the way I wanted it to.
In any case, it was 500 times better than the ending to Dexter.
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