13 Things that Cold Sores Completely Ruin

So, for starters, yes, I have oral herpes.  It's not even exciting.  I've had it since before I knew what STDs were, and since way way WAY before I even had my first kiss.  I didn't associate cold sores with herpes until high school.  So for me, there's no stigma about it.  I could ramble on about that, but that's way too serious for this post.  This post is more long the lines of a Funny Buzzfeed List kind of thing.

Here are 13 Things that Cold Sores Completely Ruin.

 

1. Kissing.

 

 

(two-views.com)

 

 If you're single and not dating, you are luckily exempt from this one.  But for the past few days, I haven't been able to kiss my long-term, live-with boyfriend, and it's been killing me.  I keep turning to him and going in for a kiss, and he jumps away from me - as well he should, since I don't want to give him herpes - but it makes me sad to have my boyfriend jump away from a kiss.

2. Drinking - especially acidic things or hot things.

(dailymail.co.uk)

I love me some orange juice.  I love me some hot beverages when it's cold out.  But when a cold sore is big enough, and especially if it's on my bottom lip, holding a cup to my lip hurts.  It's awful.  So I have to stick my tongue out and pretend like it's my bottom lip, which makes me look like a fool.  The easiest solution is to use a straw, which is fine for cold/room temperatures, but it's not a good idea when drinking hot cider or tea (or coffee, for those of you weirdos who like it).

 3. Eating a sandwich.

(bubblews.com)

 

Most of the time, sammiches are kind of tall.  Bread + toppings + another slice of bread = height.  So you have to open your mouth kinda wide to eat them.  But OH WAIT, that's gonna hurt like hell with a giant blister on your lip!  Eat nothing but peanut butter and jelly or eat NOTHING AT ALL until that thing heals.

4. Eating pretty much anything in general.

(superstock.com) 

The day I got my most recent cold sore, it didn't really pop up into a full-fledged blister until dinner time.  What did I make for dinner that night?  Spaghetti and meatballs.  Something that is both very gigantic-bite-eating (for me) and very slurp-y.  So I risked not only hurting my cold sore, but also getting the ointment I use on it all over my food and fork, which means I'd taste it, which isn't fun.  Some lip products taste okay (like my mint Burt's Bee's chapstick, mmm), but cold sore ointment is NOT on that list.  They all taste like crap.  So, when you eat, you can either wipe it off of your lip and eat with a DRY cold sore (no thanks), or you can leave the ointment on and ruin the flavor of your food.  It's your choice.

5. Spitting.

(telegraph.co.uk) 

With a cold sore on your bottom lip (where most of mine always are), it hurts to purse your lips very much.  So when I brush my teeth or hack the occasional loogie, spitting it out ends up being this sad little dribble.  Kind of like when I got my wisdom teeth taken out and wasn't allowed to create suction in my mouth.  Except instead of risking uplifting my stitches, it physically hurts my lip to actually spit.  Oh, and spitting out minty toothpaste?  Stings like a mother.

6. Whistling.

(braodwayspotted.com)

Similar to spitting, the way you have to purse your lips to whistle hurts with a cold sore.  And I like to whistle.  If my music has a rockin' trumpet solo, or if I'm listening to Jethro Tull, I like to whistle along.  But I can't with a cold sore, and that makes me sad.

7. Smiling.

(marklevydds.com)

I love to smile!  I love to laugh.  I love to be happy.  But with a cold sore, spreading my lips that much hurts!  So I laugh for two seconds until my blister starts to split, and then I get sad.  It sucks.  It feels like my cold sore is literally preventing my from being happy.

8. Pictures.

(yep, this is a selfie of ME.)

I like to be in pictures.  But when you have a cold sore, a) it hurts to smile like I said above, and b) you feel like all anyone sees on you is a giant blister on your lip that screams "LOOK AT ME!!!"

9. Showering/washing your face.

(blog.mollyskincare.com)

I don't know about you, but when I wash my face, I rub my hands all over my face.  None of that "gentle water caressing my face" crap you see in skin care commercials.  And when I shower, the water hits my face a lot - including my lips.  So what happens when I have a cold sore?  I have to awkwardly angle my face down in the shower, to keep the harsh water off of my lip; and I have to be really awkward about not touching my lips when I wash my face, because I don't want to rub my cold sore and irritate it.  Boo.

10.  Putting on chapstick (or other lip products).

(allure.com)

Putting chapstick on with a cold sore, you have to maneuver the chapstick around the sore.  That in itself isn't so bad, especially since most of my cold sores are in the corner of my mouth rather than smack in the middle.  But!  When I put chapstick on, I like to do a nice lip rub to rub in the chapstick.  Not doing that feels as weird to me as just rubbing a thick coat of lotion over my hand once and not actually rubbing it in.  Of course you can't do that with a cold sore!  Because a) it hurts the cold sore to be rubbed against my other lip, and b) it smears the cold sore ointment all over my other lip.  (I usually put the ointment on before the chapstick, I'm not really sure why.)  This all holds true for lip stick and lip gloss, as well, except even worse because those things have to be rubbed in to help distribute color evenly!  Luckily for me, I don't wear either of those very often - I'm generally a makeup-less face.

Subsequently...

11. The rest of your lips.

 

(keep-healthy.com)

If I can't put chapstick on properly, the rest of my lips get very dry and chapped and generally unpleasant.  The other day, when I first got my most recent cold sore, I actually sat in front of the mirror and peeled off all of my dry lip skin so I didn't have to feel all of those flakies all day.  Gross, I know, but cold sores are gross and they ruin everything. 

12. Swimming

(wikimedia.org)

Whether it's leisurely or for exercise/competition, swimming hurts a cold sore.  All that water dries it out ridiculously.  Constantly coming in and out of the water irritates it.  The chlorine of a pool or the salt of the ocean stings like a mother!  And if you're at an outside body of water in the sun, OW BURN.  Even with an SPF chapstick, the heat burns.  One time, when my cold sore had gone from blister to scab (part of the healing process), I decided to jump off of the high dive at a pool.  I felt like I was going to land way too close to some people, so I tried to maneuver myself over in the air.  Unfortunately this caused my cannonball-posed body to land not on my feet/butt, but RIGHT ON MY FACE.  WITH A COLD SORE.  It hurt sooooo badly.  It started bleeding immediately so I had to get out of the pool.  And I didn't have my normal ointment that I use (Carmex for Cold Sores) - all I had was this special medicated stuff, which is great for the blister stage but doesn't moisturize enough for the scab stage.  So the stuff STUNG LIKE A BITCH on my open, bleeding cold sore.  Day. ruined.

And finally...

13. Running and other exercise.

(hiit.com)

This one may just be me, but when my heart rate goes up, it causes my cold sores to pulse painfully.  Add that to the bouncing of running and I'm giving up after less than two minutes.  Plus, all that breathing through my mouth really dries out a cold sore, and I don't want to have to put ointment on with sweaty hands.

Think of another thing that cold sores completely ruin?  Leave me an angry comment calling me an idiot for forgetting the number one most important thing that cold sores ruin!  Just kidding.  Do feel free to leave a comment, but please don't call me an idiot or anything else horrible.