Mark and I have been in our house for two years and eight months. I just realized that this actually a great milestone for me, very much worth celebrating.
For someone who never moved from birth until I started college, my 20s were an absolute whirlwind of moving. For over a decade, I never lived anywhere for more than two years:
- spring 2012: we moved out of our house in Berkley. My permanent address on my ID became my dad's house, though I never actually lived there. Most of my "I don't actually need this but I don't have the time to sort through it" stuff went to his house due to how quickly our old house sold.
- May 2012: I moved out of the dorms and into my boyfriend-at-the-time's apartment
- July 2012: moved out of his apartment when his lease ended, in to my sister's house
- August 2012: moved in to my own apartment (which was in the same complex as the bf's - yeah, I was annoyed I couldn't just get an earlier move-in date but this place was super student-oriented, so leases started in August)
- July 2013: moved to the townhouse in Maryland
- May (or June?) 2015: moved to the apartment in Maryland
This is where it gets spicy.....
- April 2017: moved to the apartment in Virginia
- 3 weeks later: moved in to my friend's ex husband's house in Maryland because the then-bf and I broke up and I didn't feel safe staying in our apartment, even though he moved out too. (long story short, he was an ass & so was his family and I didn't want the majority of my stuff to be somewhere they had access to while I was at work.)
- June 2017: moved in with my aunt and uncle, back up in Michigan
- 2019-20: kinda-sorta slowly moved in with Mark, spending less time at my aunt & uncle's but keeping *most* of my stuff at their house, save for 1-2 loads of laundry at a time, toiletries, and a small selection of crochet projects
- August 2020: moved in to the south Canton condo
- June 2021: moved in to the Farmington condo
- June 2023: moved in to our house
I moved 13 times in 12 years, or 12 times if you don't count the partially-moving-in-to-Mark's-place. It was EXHAUSTING. I never felt settled, never felt comfortable unpacking everything because I probably wouldn't be in any one place for too long anyway. And for the most part, I never really felt like anywhere was "my home," a potential for a forever place.
The exceptions were the apartment in Maryland - god I loved that place. The space, the management, the price compared to the surrounding area, the neighborhood were all lovely. We only moved out because then-bf got a job in Virginia and didn't want to make that commute (fair, considering DC traffic). And though I knew living with my aunt and uncle was temporary and it was never meant to be "my home," I at least felt comfortable there, because I was living with family, and I felt safe being there after the traumatic breakup I'd been through. Of course, I've felt safe everywhere I've lived with Mark - but considering that all 3 landlords declined to renew our leases because they wanted to sell the places, it was also hard to feel settled.
The one benefit to all of this moving around was that I started to connect with my Things a LOT less. Every time I moved, I was motivated to purge because it meant at least 1 less box to move. Haven't seen something since the last time I moved? That's ok, it can't have meant that much to me if I don't remember where I packed it and haven't needed it since I moved in. Misplaced something I know I didn't lose in a move? Eh, it'll probably turn up next time I move.
We've now been in our house for just over two and a half years and it feels SO GOOD to be settled. More than just knowing that if I decorate, I won't have to take it all down in 6-18 months, we OWN the place so we get to make it our own! Anything we want to repaint, replace, rebuild, or redecorate, we CAN. We're contributing to rebuilding our neighborhood association because we know we'll be a part of this community for a long time, and we want to get to know the people who live around us.
Happy two years and eight months to living in our house! Here's to a few more decades. I plan to stay here until neither of us can handle all the stairs anymore. 😀
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